"Action Jackson" visits the Waco Tribune-Herald newsroom on New Year's Day 2018 |
Ann and I very seldom post on social media about our private lives. However, almost all of our friends in my Central Texas neighborhood know me only in the company of our miniature, 23-pound white poodle Jackson, ever-friendly, always game for new outings and new encounters. To our overwhelming grief, Jackson crossed quietly into another, more merciful existence one day in May 2025 after bolstering our lives on a daily, often hourly basis since December 2013. That’s when Ann, to my surprise, brought Jackson into our home from Fuzzy Friends Rescue of Central Texas on a two-day trial basis.
He had been found wandering alone, apparently abandoned, in
the nearby town of Robinson.
What was supposed to be a temporary stay at our home for a
night or so became a lively, life-imbuing, life-affirming lifestyle for us and
all who enjoyed our hospitality and company. When Ann – done with being “dogless”
after more than a year – introduced me to Jackson upon my return from work one December
day as opinion editor at the Waco Tribune-Herald, he sat on the sofa alongside
her, already to my mind confident of being in charge of all that lay before him.
In the newspaper ad pleading his adoption, he was dubbed “Ivan the Adorable.”
In my home, he initially struck me as a bit presumptuous for a supposedly
unwanted or stray dog. Yet, over time, he became my virtual shadow – fiercely independent-minded,
yet dogging my heels, probably because I fed and walked him. The latter pursuit
quickly became an absolute passion for him, to the degree that even near the
end, years later, he continued to jump up madly but joyfully whenever I reached
for his leash by the front door. We walked twice a day, strolls that often
amounted to a mile and a half each, generally at his instigation when I might
well have preferred shorter routes and a return to the comforts of home and
hearth. He certainly aided my overall health in the bargain, given the hills
that characterize our particular stretch of McLennan County, Texas. He paraded
through the neighborhood as if on a grand inspection tour of the troops and
grounds. Some folks called him "The Flag" because of his extraordinarily
long, pronounced, fluffy white tail which never, ever flagged. And, in his perfectly
adorable way, he soon prompted neighborhood conversation where it might not
have occurred, especially in these polarized times.
Without my fully realizing it, Jackson became part of my
identity and I became part of his. He not only kept me to a daily routine, he enlivened
it. After our morning walks, during which over nearly eleven and a half years
he helped me better know my neighborhood, my neighbors and myself, he ate
breakfast, then retired to an old Lazy-Boy chair in my home office. If not
slumbering (often a fitful slumber, given his constantly looking around and checking
on my whereabouts at any given moment), he perched himself on one armrest,
intently eyeing the length of our street from the front window of the office while
I labored on newspaper columns and editorials or edited columns by fellow
opinion page contributors or conducted and transcribed lengthy phone interviews
with everyone from conservative commentator George Will to historically savvy
political activist Beto O’Rourke to one of the Trump-loyal attorneys who filed
a lawsuit to shelve the 2020 election — recordings of which were sometimes punctuated
by Jackson's controlled, masculine, sobering warning of what he took to be possible
threats and unwarranted intrusions upon his domain. Ironically, Jackson was ever
accommodating to visitors Ann and I welcomed into our home, sometimes giving
the distinct impression he might follow them out the door to other, more enriching
opportunities.
At first sign of an intruder from that window — mailman,
garbageman, neighbor mowing his lawn, neighborhood walker — Jackson barked till
they abandoned ground, then looked over at me, seeking acknowledgement of his
victory. I naturally always gave him this acknowledgement, usually in the form
of verbal encouragement and strokes, even as I sought to calm his alarm by
telling him that he was a "silly dog" for barking at, say, a neighborhood
squirrel or the postal carrier making his daily rounds. Yet Jackson was never
yappy, never ill-tempered the way some of his poodle breed are – except that we
discovered through DNA tests, pursued on a lark by my wife the way adoring pet
owners will, that Jackson was only half poodle, half plenty else, including
hound dog. He was, I suppose you could say, an all-American “E pluribus unum”
dog – "Out of many, one."
And there were our contemplative evening walks – earlier in
the short days of autumn and winter, later in torrid Texas summers when I waited
after sundown for streets and curbs to cool sufficiently for Jackson – obviously
closer to the ground – to safely patrol the neighborhood, though even then I
tried to keep him on the grass, which was cooler. (Jackson with the greatest of
agility preferred walking on the curbs – I called him a “circus dog.”) He
seemed impervious to extremes of weather and we braved all sorts, including briefer
daily walks during the Big Freeze of February 2021 when ice encased neighborhood
streets and the power in homes across Texas failed, resulting in scores of
deaths. I took a spill on one of these walks – nothing bruised but my ego – but
Jackson demonstrated his usual remarkable agility – so much easier, my wife observed
amusedly, when one travels about on four legs rather than two.
A peacefully astronomical or astrological or celestial or
astral quality – I’m not quite sure how to put it – graced our seasonal evening
strolls, the stars gradually emerging during longer walks after sundown. I especially
remember our walks in 2020 when Mars was reportedly at its closest to Earth – a
mere 38,568,816 miles away, its third nearest approach in some 60,000 years. It
dominated all else like some radiant, orienting orange jewel in the relative consistency
of the night sky. Just for the record, Jackson was also with my wife and me during
the April 2024 total solar eclipse which brought thousands of eclipse-watchers to
Waco and Central Texas; from our courtyard where we watched, Jackson
demonstrated no particular fear or confusion or concern when the moon abruptly crossed
before the sun and briefly ushered day into darkness. It was just one of many
daily miracles Jackson beheld.
And not to read too much into it, but Jackson loved smelling
flowers, even those in which I could detect no scent whatsoever. Whatever
caught his attention, he appeared riveted.
Ann welcomes Jackson to his forever home, 2013. |
Notwithstanding his tender regard for flowers, puppies and kittens, Jackson ordinarily proved a headstrong, vigorous dog with an utterly infectious yet willful personality. “He who must be obeyed,” I sometimes sarcastically remarked, borrowing from H. Rider Haggard’s famous novel. Given my inability to come up with a fitting name, Ann named him after Jackson Teller, a leading character from "Sons of Anarchy," a favorite TV series of hers about an outlaw motorcycle gang, as well as her best friend’s maiden name. Ann imagined she would simply call him "Jax" as the character in "Sons of Anarchy" is called, but she never did. In daily life I called him "Champ," she called him "Buddy," particularly when kidding Jackson about his following me everywhere after I came to spend most of my days at home during the pandemic in spring 2020 and slid right on into retirement later. "I used to have a little white dog who looked just like you," Ann cooed. But he was always, always Jackson – a name that not only stuck but invited speculation by many on our reason for choosing such the name. My aunt, who during these politically polarized times voiced absolute devotion to Donald Trump (despite her belief in a woman’s right to choose and climate change), expressed hope Ann and I had not named him after civil rights activist Jesse Jackson. I’m still not sure where that came from. I finally fell into the habit of telling people that we named the dog after our seventh president because it was simpler to explain and Andrew Jackson – hero of the Battle of New Orleans in the War of 1812 and enduring symbol of American democracy’s reach into the daily lives of the common man – was also on the $20 bill. That said, most fellow citizens I’ve encountered and casually tested on civics knowledge can’t cite who’s on the currency in our pockets and purses.
Jackson was the perfect one to prompt introduction and
conversation with neighbors and strangers, whether in Central Texas, the pine-topped
mountains of New Mexico where we summered (and where Jackson, during our out-and-about
strolls, earned more spur-of-the-moment invitations into people’s cabins and
homes than I certainly would’ve on my own) or the sprawling deserts of southern
Arizona (but mornings only). Yet at home he reveled as he engaged in what pet
therapists call “enrichment.” This involved, first and foremost, the absolute
necessity of playing with his toys, something we continued throughout his life,
right up till the day before he mysteriously sickened. His favorite passion at
home: interacting with a set of progressively larger stuffed toy hedgehogs, so beloved
by Jackson because, when thrown, they bounced up and about in the most
unpredictable ways, challenging his agility and attack in not only “catching” them
but wrestling them to the ground. “Action
Jackson” then insisted he be pursued through the house rather than simply giving
up his catch, a baffling activity that kept me busier than I always liked. Ann
meanwhile not only trained him in fundamental commands – “come,” “stay,” “no” –
but little tricks such as “praying,” absurdly popular with visitors, religious
or not, and his waiting, patient but alert, till a wall of paper cups had been meticulously
erected, then knocking them down triumphantly upon command.
But all this was secondary to our walks and subsequent mornings
in my office, especially upon retirement in November 2020, when he ate
breakfast with me and provided company (often through healthy diversion from my
work at the keyboard) as I labored on what I hoped were thoughtful essays and probing
interviews as Tribune-Herald opinion editor emeritus. Unwilling to waste
institutional memory built up over decades as a work-a-day journalist, I
continued to regularly step into the political, societal and cultural fray, an
arrangement welcomed by former colleagues grappling with the challenges of a
dwindling newsroom in an age when so many Americans got what they satisfied
themselves was news via talk radio, social media and Fox News. It became a retirement
pursuit the way some people deliver Meals on Wheels to aging or incapacitated shut-ins.
And Jackson my workmate. Through our walks, he kept me in touch with the here
and now of the neighborhood, even as I thought through disturbing issues of the
era on our twice-a-day walks. On some walks, only Jackson looked like he knew
where we were going because my head was often in the clouds. He often led our strolls,
and seldom the same route from day to day. And then, of course, there were those
memorable encounters with the neighbors.
More than a quarter of my career as a Texas journalist was
spent in not only sharing diligently researched opinions with others through
the mainstay of the daily newspaper opinion page I oversaw but actively soliciting
the opinions of others – and not just through their letters to the editor and
submitted columns but by plunging headlong into the mass of humanity at
parades, fairs and polling places, always seeking to better understand trends ensuing
across our nation. In my retirement, Jackson helped ensure the civility of such
solicitations amid conversations he definitely helped initiate and facilitate in
the neighborhood, rife with support for Donald Trump in 2016, 2020 and 2024. I
remember, for instance, a spirited, pre-retirement evening exchange on economic
policy on one of my walks with Jackson. James Tipton, retired professor of
finance who taught for three decades in Baylor University’s Hankamer School of
Business, voiced strong views on finance in support of President Trump during
his first term – a conversation in front of James’ home that ensued under the midsummer
stars and softened when Tipton, pausing in our exchange, insisted on getting
Jackson a bowl of cool water, given Jackson and I were a mile from home and the
air was still warm. James’ compassion for my little dog touched me, given his hard-edged
political views and his reputation as a straightshooter seldom without a vigorous,
well-argued opinion; a week or so after this exchange, the 71-year-old Army veteran,
economics professor, active Boy Scout troop leader and master-level chess
player was dead, a loss to the community. Jackson and I never again passed the
Tipton home without my thinking of James’ kindness that summer evening of 2019,
notwithstanding political views that I saw as destructive. His widow Barbara continued
such kindnesses whenever Jackson and I strolled by. Yet I now also reflect on
Jackson’s own example, so patient and so tolerant to regularly suffer such
pauses on our walks to debate issues of the day, a citizen-to-citizen digression
that everyone from American author Washington Irving to French traveler Alexis
de Tocqueville recognized and celebrated as distinctly American in the republic’s
rambunctious early days. Sometimes, possibly realizing the futility of a given exchange,
Jackson barked at me to continue our travels.
Certainly dogs have their roles to play in all this. Another neighbor, four houses from mine, is an unrepentant Trump supporter who lowered his U.S. flag in 2020 and raised a Trump campaign flag in its place, then did the same during the 2024 election. He complemented this show of patriotism (as he no doubt viewed it) by hanging, in one of many trees gracing his beautifully maintained yard, a Trump 2024 birdhouse. Conversations included one (also witnessed by Jackson) in which my neighbor implied but never quite came out and said that the alarm over COVID-19 was exaggerated to the point he and his wife continued to participate in monthly dinner club gatherings of a dozen or so. Yet I reflected not so much on his political preferences or even the loss of his wife – who when dating him 46 years earlier found him “full of himself” – but, rather, on how this quiet, agreeable widower for several years lovingly indulged his own little dog when the pooch became too old and too fat for daily walks. Wayne lifted his pudgy pooch into the car twice a day, lowered the front window and drove about the neighborhood, simulating as close as possible the daily walks they once enjoyed. Our paths would cross. His pooch would bark at Jackson from the car window (to which Jackson paid little notice); Wayne and I would wave to each other. Once, as I was picking up after Jackson at the edge of my neighbor’s yard, Wayne noticed and told me I needn’t do so when it came to his yard, that anything Jackson left behind was fine by him. I thanked him, of course, but told him that picking up after my dog struck me as a neighborly thing to do. (Many neighbors regularly posted on a neighborhood app their outrage at pet owners neglectful of such obligations.) Sadly, our contact lessened after the death of my neighbor’s dog.
For the record, my most enduring memory of COVID-19 – which Ann and I did take seriously as fellow Central Texans withered and died after contracting the highly contagious virus – involved our haphazard, hours-long sessions every six weeks of trying to trim and groom Jackson with a set of professional sheers and combs – all wielded, I fear, unprofessionally, amounting to an exhausting foray for us, even though Jackson endured all this humiliation stoically. Meanwhile, Jackson and I continued neighborly exchanges during the pandemic, its deadly threat significantly lessened in open-air encounters.
In short, even after my days as a newspaperman divining opinions of fellow citizens at parades, fairs and polling places formally ended in November 2020 – a thoughtfully timed retirement in what I mistakenly assumed would prove an end to the historically significant Age of Trump – walks with Jackson through our mostly white, mostly Republican Waco suburb ensured that I continued to confront and ponder viewpoints of neighbors who might or might not see matters as I did. Jackson, in all his adorableness, helped not only bring about such encounters but in his way encouraged neighborliness to prevail in all such exchanges. Nor were all encounters with those who counted themselves in the Make America Great Again movement. For instance, there was retired physician and political activist Phil Reeder, an engagingly kinetic sort whom I got to know through my daily walks with Jackson past his home, then came to appreciate and know better through absorbing evenings with like-minded individuals from different perspectives and different walks of life – attorneys, physicians, accountants, scholars, even a symphony orchestra conductor. All this ensued on Phil’s back patio, often over a glass of whiskey, often overlooking the sun setting on the South Bosque flowing into Lake Waco. These informal gatherings over time evolved into monthly meetings of the “Twelve Angry Men,” huddling in the home of one of our dozen to vigorously debate politics, history, philosophy and the spiraling, ever-shifting state of the public mind in the dizzying, confounding and alarming Age of Trump, often enlivened by my insights and testimonials gained in the company of Jackson. We put our minds to the same all-American dilemmas de Tocqueville did in touring America in the tumultuous Age of Jackson, trying to ascertain the American psyche that the French political thinker in his era so admired, even with his deep reservations regarding our stubborn societal racism and our astounding failure to elect leaders of the caliber of the Founding Fathers. In those failings, one wondered whether we had fundamentally changed so much since the early 1830s.
Insights into America gained in my neighborhood travels with
Jackson are illuminating, thought-provoking: the Baylor University sociology
professor and data-cruncher who reminded me that many local suburbs such as the
one in which we lived and the one in which George W. Bush settled shortly before
his presidential election originally developed because of white flight in Central
Texas amidst resistance to court-ordered school segregation; the African-American
retiree who had earlier worked at the Pentagon and eventually moved from our
Woodway neighborhood to a city in the Deep South to be among more of her race,
notwithstanding the fact she proved popular among Woodway neighbors because of
her radiant, upbeat personality and ingratiating humor; the couple who planned upon
retirement resettling in Italy, formerly ruled by everyone from Augustus and
Caligula to Mussolini and Silvio Berlusconi, because the MAGA mission in 21st America clearly required the snuffing out of so many individual rights; the
white widow of a missionary who informed me presidential candidate Kamala
Harris was a socialist – a conclusion reached because Harris’ father was a
socialist, even though he only taught socialism at Stanford and never embraced it
as a personal ideology; the Baylor instructor who, amidst President Trump’s
talk of annexing Canada as our nation’s 51st state, ran up a
Canadian flag in protest outside his home; the insurance attorney, Army veteran
and walking buddy who thrice voted for Trump and seldom raised the subject of
politics but for one memorable occasion when he tersely informed a mutual
friend of ours in the street that, whatever else, “when the Supreme Court tells
you to do something, Mr. President, you do it” – his reaction to the
Trump administration’s defiance of federal courts, including a direct order
from the nation’s highest court; the amiable but gullible Trumper who hired
some vagabonds knocking at his front door to trim his picturesque canopy of oaks
– only to discover after they left (with more than a thousand dollars of his
money) that they had cut many of the live limbs and branches and left the dead
ones; the Vietnam veteran and neighbor who, after voicing outrage over the
Trump administration’s imminent firing of tens of thousands of Department of Veterans
Affairs employees, many of them veterans, insisted he was blameless in that he
not only didn’t vote for Trump but didn’t vote at all; and, finally, a normally
jubilant, big-hearted neighborhood woman who told Jackson and me of ordering
two expensive straw purses on the day Trump sent the stock market reeling with announcement
of “Liberation Day” tariffs. When a clerk inquired why she was cancelling the
order just two days later, she replied, “My husband and I lost $180,000 in the stock
market because of Trump,” prompting the sales clerk to ask, cluelessly, like so
many Americans in our times: “Why? What did Trump do?”
Jackson visits friends Gwen and Gary Kane in Tuscon, 2014 |
Rather than retiring with Ann at day's end, Jackson always stayed with me well into the wee hours of the morning. He was the last set of eyes I saw at night, as he curled up in a ball of warmth, confidence and contentment between Ann and me in bed, sometimes at 2 or 3; he was the first set of eyes I saw come morning, as I dressed to start the coffeemaker and straighten up the house. When he should have been sleeping, his eyes rigorously followed me as I tiptoed to leave the bedroom, even as he remained on the bed next to Ann. Soon from the living room, I would hear his little toenails clicking eagerly on the wooden floor of the bedroom, his quiet signal for me to let him out of the bedroom. Then it was a reassuring massage of his shoulders, neck, chest and back as well as a stroke of his famous tail; some play with his toys; and our first walk of the new day, followed by breakfast and guard duties just a few feet from me in the office where I continued to write about what so often seemed the decline and fall of a once-great nation – a period when so many Americans in a land of plenty amid hard-won blessings of liberty and economic opportunity were consumed with grievance, resentment and hatred for one another, some to the point of actually wishing for apocalyptic scenarios if only to vanquish their enemies, real and imagined. Jackson was good tonic amidst all this, particularly in bringing out the best in my neighbors and, I hope, in me. His influence on me and others constitutes, arguably, yet another Age of Jackson, however provincial.
Jackson understood the importance of variety in life. Often in
the interim of my daily pursuits, he courted Ann. Sitting in a comfortable
recliner opposite Ann in her "hideaway room," briefly distracting her
from those aches and pains that come to us all should we live long enough, he nonetheless
kept his eyes peeled beyond the doorway for new adventures elsewhere in the
house – that is, me. Even so, he enjoyed sitting at Ann's feet or on the love
seat in our sunroom while Ann practiced songs on one of three ukuleles for some
upcoming Waco Ukulele Orchestra concert to which she had committed.
Occasionally, Jackson added vocal accompaniment to Ann’s musicmaking – a most
wonderful hound-like howl, perhaps a genetic holdover from his mixed ancestry. On
other occasions he rolled about joyfully on his back, kicking his feet into the
air, prompting Ann to pause our conversation – “Look, this is one of those moments”
– and then motioning excitedly to this impulsive and fleeting burst of canine joie
de vivre.
Late into the evening, he retired to the living room sofa; at
times he draped his head over the armrest to eagerly await my return from the
kitchen with, say, a glass of wine or cup of coffee to edit future newspaper
columns in my recliner or read a book of history and political theory or
philosophy or, finally, watch TV during which I joined him on the sofa, mindful
that he really, really disliked feet, sometimes to the point that he growled
lowly. Well, of course.
I didn't fully realize till Jackson was gone that the little
guy was such an integral part of my daily life that I now find myself totally
disoriented, let alone dispirited, by his abrupt departure. It is, I suppose,
another lesson on the fragility of life of which the philosophers ponder and speak.
My good friend Phil Reeder remarked knowingly upon learning of Jackson's sudden
health troubles: "Bill, you have friends and you have friends – and
then you have Jackson." Indeed. There is something about a faithful canine
companion that allows one to confide the deepest of confidences, including our gnawing
fears and wildest dreams. Longtime Texas congressman and Obama vice
presidential prospect Chet Edwards – whose decency, compassion and keen
insights into politics, history and the human condition marked our relationship
as it evolved into friendship in our post-retirement years – marveled upon news
of Jackson's death at the relationship between people and dogs – “there is just
something magical about it that makes life worth living." He further noted:
"I have always tried to remember that death can cause pain but it cannot
stop love."
On April 18, when at age 13, “Action Jackson” went in for
his yearly array of geriatric tests, he as usual excelled in everything —
bloodwork, chemistry, weight, attitude, all of it. He displayed terrific
health, probably owing to daily walks, a quality diet, twice-a-year veterinary
exams and lots and lots of interaction and laughter and adventure and
inclusion. For him, as for us, life was worth living, even amid the delusion
and vindictiveness that now seemed to plague the land. Less than three weeks after
demonstrating perfect health, Jackson was dead of a terrible autoimmune malady
that five different veterinarians over several long days battled in concert
without enduring success. No one knows what triggered the affliction; only wild
guesses were offered, and these without any foundation — a mystery typical of
this frustrating and often fatal condition in both people and their best
friends. I learned a new word after long conversations with each of these
veterinarians and during daily hospital visits with an increasingly listless,
despondent Jackson – “idiopathic,” which my veterinarian explained after a
multitude of tests and treatments is “a fancy word for ‘we just don’t know.’” Uncharacteristically,
Jackson failed to rally, yet never once whimpered in my presence as his body succumbed
to this infuriatingly unreasonable disease, its cause possibly buried in
genetics rather than some outside cause. At the very end, as death loomed, Ann
stroked Jackson’s neck and back, encouraging further slumber amid the discontent
he clearly experienced. I lay next to him, face to face, our eyes meeting this
last extended time, my breath on him and his on me, as he passed in and out of natural
sleep in exhaustion before the merciful and quiet hastening of the very end. He
passed with not even the slightest shudder or tremor. I continued to weep,
caress and embrace him, grateful for the peace in his departure as I shook with
grief and rage over the impending emptiness of my life without this innocent
little dog.
Grief experienced strongly enough, especially given the
mystery of sickness and death to a mind governed by reason, can summon up
ghostly apparitions of a sort. I sheepishly raised this with Air Force veteran and motorcycle mechanic Gary Kane – to me, the definition of
self-confident, independent-minded yet reflective manhood in a society where so many men are
emotionally wounded or crippled to the point of living shallow stereotypes. I admitted
that, crazy though it was, I kept hearing Jackson's little toenails tapping on the wooden
floor and, on other occasions, the light tinkling of Jackson’s collar in distant corners of the house. Gary
acknowledged the same after he lost his beloved border collie Jake, the victim
of terrible seizures during his last years. "I’m positive you all did
everything in your power to keep Jackson happy and healthy," he counseled.
"Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason why things happen. Seems like the
need to know the 'why' is overwhelming. There are still things that will
trigger me to think Jake is still here. It took me several years not to jump
out of bed if I heard anything in the night that sounded like Jake was having a
seizure."
In the wake of Jackson's death, I find myself walking later in the morning and evening, thus avoiding chance encounters with well-meaning neighbors who know me only in Jackson's company. I am yet unwilling to go through the difficulty of explaining what on earth happened to Jackson and why I now walk alone. I feel shame, too, in not knowing what I might have done or not done that possibly caused Jackson's sickness (notwithstanding all the tests done and my introduction to the word "idiopathy"), shame that nothing I and the veterinarians could do, even when expense was no concern, could save him. I worry, too, that perhaps I let medical efforts to save him go on beyond all reason, prolonging his trials.
My friend, retired corporate executive Mike Raymond, sent me
a brief Jan. 3, 2024, essay from the Wall Street Journal by attorney Mike
Kerrigan on the grief many have for beloved dogs upon their passing. An excerpt
is instructive. It reflects on a friend's grief for a dog named Bear: "I
like to think that this life isn't all there was for Bear. Years ago,
Archbishop Fulton Sheen first perked up my ears, so to speak, on the
spirituality of dogs. In his autobiography, ‘Treasure in Clay,’ Sheen wrote
that during his holy hour of prayer before the Blessed Sacrament, at times he
felt 'like a dog at the master's door, ready in case he called me.’” Kerrigan’s
essay continued:
British writer C.S. Lewis went a step further in “The Problem of Pain,” in
which he made a plausible case for hounds in heaven. Lewis thought sufficient
selfhood might exist in dogs and other domesticated animals that their
immortality is subsumed within their master's heavenly destiny. For my money,
though, G.K. Chesterton made the best case for dogs in heaven. In “Orthodoxy,"
Chesterton proposed that perhaps the one thing too great for God to have shown
when he walked the earth was his mirth. What is more mirthful than the thought
of a surprise party on heavenly move-in day where gathered guests include good
ol' Fido? And who could keep such a joyful secret but someone with infinite
patience?
Jackson on the homefront, 2017 |
Granted, some tough-talking, testosterone-driven cowboy stoic who rides herd over animals or some judgmental Christian nationalist who strictly limits humanity to humans (and then only certain humans) might see my grief over a dearly departed canine as a huge failure of manhood, a “woke” flaw in my psychological makeup. Yet Jackson’s vitality, optimism and jubilance around the home, in the neighborhood and on vacations; his insistence on active, fulfilling interaction, whether with toys or in our caresses or on walks or in my conversations with him; his resilience in the face of my occasional preoccupations and indifferences; his fidelity or at least preference for the company of my wife and me, to the degree he often dogged my heels – a consequence, I imagined, of his apparently being abandoned early in life; his energy and confidence in himself regarding all things and in all settings, so contagious and so invigorating during anxious daily life as shut-ins during the pandemic of 2020-21 and my own transformation from a busy lifestyle as a deadline-oriented newspaperman to retirement of the sort Cicero encouraged – one of deep reflection, simple joys and the gradual sorting out of what really mattered in life; the void Jackson filled for cherished family members who had moved on in life and death – all these stamp his passing as devastating, a testimonial of a brief life vibrantly lived and shared, a loss to be mourned, particularly given the suddenness and finality of death here on Earth amid endless intrigue and speculation about life and death for both man and dog.
My compliments go to all involved in Jackson's May 6, 2025,
leave-taking, including Dr. Corey Zamzow and Dr. Jered Johnston of the South
Bosque Veterinary Clinic, for an extraordinarily peaceful departure after
diligent efforts to save him, as well as others who worked around the clock at Waco
Animal Emergency Clinic, including Dr. Jade Haberman, Dr. Clay Wilson and Dr.
Pat Griffin. Ann and I are now left with overwhelming grief, including
wondering whether we savored Jackson as much as we possibly could. My friend – minister
and world religions scholar Blake Burleson of Baylor University, with whom I serve
on the local newspaper’s board of contributors – says the process of such grief
is vital, relevant, even resurrectionary. "Grieving is a good thing; you
loved Jackson," he advised me afterward. "Death is always a blow, a
physical one at that. It hits us. Live into that now. It is remarkable how
close these sentient beings are to us — truly man’s best friend." Another
friend, Army veteran, music teacher and political activist Mark Hays, who got
to know Jackson at our home during monthly gatherings of “Twelve Angry Men” to
discuss politics and philosophy, even held out hope of a reunion, just as
Chesterton did. “I often think how wrong it seems that our animal friends have
such short lives,” he counseled. “I think that they are better than we who do
so much evil and destroy so much on such a huge scale. I don't know, but I
do believe that they have souls and that we may see them again on the other
side. You gave Jackson a wonderful life full of love, companionship and
fun. He will be waiting to greet you.”
At the risk of seeming utterly delusionary to cynics and
naysayers, I hope for many, many more of those shared walks amid the stars,
which somehow even on terra firma I believed would never really end.
Just think of the others Jackson and I might soon encounter.
Described
by one of his editors as “an equal-opportunity skeptic” and one of his readers
as a "modern-day Don Quixote" (for better or worse), Bill Whitaker in
November 2020 retired from Texas journalism after a career of nearly 45 years
as a reporter, editor and columnist. He served as Waco Tribune-Herald opinion
editor during his final dozen years in the profession.